Young and In Love <3

Life has been crazy difficult, i have no idea what went wrong but school just got a lot harder. i have a D+ in my Spanish. for turning in a paper that was wrong. Geometry just plain out sucks. i have no idea how I'm doing in Chemistry. but i bet its not that good. the only classes that i know I'm passing are Child Development and stupid Personal Computers. I don't do my homework like i use to for some reason. i do a half fast job on all my projects which is terrible. I haven't even been reading which is terrible. i finished my list and that was the end of my reading. and i really love to read.

I have no job and i need one real bad. I'm almost in debt [AND I DON'T HAVE TO PAY ANY BILLS!!!] [what the fuck is up with that?] but i need a job real soon so i can get to work on that stupid present that i might as well not even do anymore since Timmy told me that he might not go to college this year.

Which that pissed me off so much. i could understand if it was just he doesn't think he would pass. i could completely understand that. but i just have a bad feeling that he might not want to go right now because of me. he says its not but theres still that little feeling that it might be because of me.

My family just seems to be so fucked right now. With my mom working crazy hours from 1 am to 3 or sometimes 4 pm. and then sleeping all day. and my dad working his regular hours but is still a dick because he says hes tired and needs his rest so he can't pick up his figure around the house. so that leaves me with the cleaning because my brother, sister, and roommate are all over 21 so i guess that means they don't have to clean. which is bull shit. just cause I'm the youngest i have to do all the work around the house. but yet even with the house being so clean i get yelled at for not cleaning it enough. What The Fuck!. and it makes everything even better that my brothers moving and so are my sister and roommate all on April 1st. so that means that i have to clean more and more! FUCK!

To top everything all off. me and Timmy have been fighting a lot lately. which makes me really bummed and want to stick my have in the garbage disposal and turn it on. [yeah i know harsh.] but the worse thing is that he doesn't argue back so its just me letting out all of my feelings that i feel like an ass after i get off the phone because he just sat there and took it all and apologized. [hence the reason i want to kill my hand.] and then he tells me that when we start to argue i tell him that nothings wrong and thats not good. yeah i know its not good but i can't stand talking about my feelings when he cant talk about his with me. i just want him to have some kind of feelings so when we do start to argue it will a lot easier for us to talk things out if he can tell me what hes feeling.